Preparing to Launch into the Unknown (A.K.A. Arizona)

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It's time for me to start packing. Because...wait for it, wait for it, wait for it-- I'm moving to Mesa Arizona! Woooooo! There are a TON of reasons why this is a good idea.

1)  Mesa is big. It might have so many job opportunities. Perhaps I will be able to finally start saving for Nepal!


2) Practicing my drawing skills with my amazingly awesome sister-in-law to draw even cooler pics for the blog.

3) Eating places besides regular places.

4) More people!

5) I can indulge in my new hobby and sell jewelry on the side without having to sell online!

6) A CHANCE FOR A FRESH START AT LIFE!

Ah yes, breath deeply the sweet aroma of opportunity. Take it all in...

But first...

PANIC!

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AHH! Wait-- stop the countdown! Am I seriously ready to abandon the life I know? I am scared poopless (Is that a phrase? No. That is not a phrase. Don't repeat that.)

I struggle with getting myself packed and ready. In fact, I've been lying in bed depressed in spite of the great opportunities I know that are out there. Just think...I would have to go somewhere where no one knows me and try to make friends. I'll be one little drop in a sea of people I don't know. There will be so many people to compare myself to and fall short of. So many people to not notice me or reject me. It's scary. And how will I be able to keep my head above water and keep up with all the responsibility?

Also, a little sweetie pie was heartbroken at my going. My five year old nephew and I have been very close ever since day one.

When I told him I was leaving, the look on his face sliced right through my aortic valve, cleaved my pulmonary artery in two, and spilled open my right atrium. That look has been cemented into my brain for the past few weeks. He said, "Why? Why are you leaving?" And when I told him there wasn't anything for me here he said, "But there's me. I'm here," and he began sobbing. We hugged and cried for a long time. He looked up at me and pointed at the pink and white striped, fuzzy gloves he had gotten me for Christmas. He said "take my gloves with you and wear them whenever you're missing me." It was so difficult for him to say that he almost couldn't finish, and his pain shot through his face like burning shrapnel that left a scar in my memory.

This shy girl is going to need a lot of courage to go on this new adventure...So here goes!

Namaste