I know I've been trying to be positive, but I just want to be clear on one thing: social anxiety sucks. It's not synonymous with simply being shy or quiet. It may be agonizing. People have a basic need for social interaction. Those of us with social anxiety have this need as much as the most outgoing person you know. We don't just have the need for social interaction, we feel this need acutely. It's not that we don't want a social life. Often we crave that feeling of connecting with other human beings, but do not know how to attain it. Why? Are we robots?
Well, in my case, I had negative social experiences from a very young age. I started out just like anyone else. I would love interacting and making friends. But I started school a year early and that meant I was smaller and less experienced than the other kids, and that meant an easy target. But after being consistently picked on and rejected, I isolated myself to protect myself. I kept to myself and hardly talked to anyone. At lunch, I often sat by myself or with the special needs kids.
When I went to college, it was almost as if I had been in suspended animation for all those years and I had to learn how to socialize from the ground up.
I would often feel like I was watching the world around me from behind glass. I could see it. But it wasn't mine. I hardly existed to anyone but my closest friends. It stung. There wasn't much I could do about it.
I found another blog on social anxiety that states,
"In recent years, studies have demonstrated a link between social
anxiety and depression, for example, which had not previously been known
to exist. It is not, however, surprising that many individuals with
Social Anxiety Disorder should feel sad and even depressed, given the
high levels of stress and anxiety that they are forced to cope with on a
daily basis."
It sucks, guys.
But I'm still going to go on lots of adventures.
Namaste.
Surely social anxiety can be linked to early rejection. Thanks for your blog post. We all need to feel a little less alone by knowing that there are others out there going through the same thing.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Thank you Julie. I feel better as well thanks to your comment.
ReplyDeleteRelly like your blog, I've had social anxiety for a long time but recently started "dealing" with it because it was getting out of hand. Feel alot better eading your blog since I can relate to almost everything on it.
ReplyDelete//Felix
Felix, thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot to me. It's not easy having social anxiety. People don't always understand. But I am confident that people like us can obtain success in battling anxiety, if we are patient with ourselves. Good luck in your own social adventures, and stay strong :)
ReplyDeleteOh its crap that your school mates treated you like that and that you had to sit alone.
ReplyDeleteIf we were school mates I wouldn't have left you alone for a second :P ;)
Awww, thanks "Mr. Anonymous" ;). That's really sweet of you. In their defense, I was quite awkward in grade school and they were still maturing. But all the same...that makes me feel good that there is someone on my side :D You're awesome.
ReplyDelete