Feeling Anxious? Some Calming Tricks from a Fellow Adventurer

Here are some tricks that I have learned and am practicing for when I'm feeling anxious on my escapades.

* Do not focus on doing it "right." Just try to feel comfortable.

        My therapist suggested this to me. One time, when a bunch of beauty school students were watching this scary lady highlight my hair (it was free!) I focused on this. I did not have to impress these people. I just had to feel relaxed. I concentrated on this instead of on how I was doing socially. I focused on taking deep breaths that sooth a rapid heart. One of the beauty school girls, who had amazing hair, said she wished she could be like me. She said she always talked too much. But I was so graceful and just observed what was happening around me. I laughed inwardly.

* Let it be what it is.

     Meditation embodies this attitude and is calming for many people. A yoga instructor once advised me, during meditation, to free the mind of thoughts. She said, "if a thought enters your head, observe it, notice that it is there, and then let it go." One does not have to meditate, per se, to embrace this attitude. But it is an important mindset for battling anxiety. People with anxiety or depression often do something called rumination. It is when they obsess over events in their lives to the point that they are engulfed in discomfort and misery. They play them back again and again instead of moving on. Let what you have done or said be, and then let it go. It is what it is. Move on to the next thing.

* Live in the sanctuary of the present.

        This is what a yoga DVD told me :P (if you haven't noticed I do yoga). But for you non-yogis I will say, don't let the past be the gravedigger of your present, as the philosopher Nietzsche advised. The past is gone, give yourself a sanctuary from the stress thinking of the past gives you. And furthermore, don't worry about what has not happened yet. Live in the sanctuary of the present. There are relaxation exercises that I will post a link to at the bottom of the page that may help clear your thoughts so that you may live in the present.

 
*Do something that is outside of your comfort zone.
   
    This is anti-intuitive, but as you familiarize yourself more with what frightens you, you will feel less anxiety toward it. What you're scared of is not bad. It's just something you need to get used to. Expose yourself to it.

 

* Fail now and then.

    It's okay to fail. Fail a lot. Expect to fail at times. It is often a necessary step that precedes improvement. You will likely not improve unless you fail. Once you improve, no one will think about those failures, they will just see where you are now. It's worth it.

 
*If you couldn't do it today, maybe you'll be able to do it tomorrow.

    This is pretty simple. When you do fail, you always have tomorrow. Just keep at it. My therapist shared this video with me of a truly inspirational person. This is where I got this idea from.

Here is a link to some great relaxation mp3s. If you want to feel less anxiety, you need to learn what it feels like to be relaxed and be able to relax yourself, like I did when the beauty school students were watching my hair get highlighted. I'm still working on feeling more relaxed too. It's a work in progress. But these relaxation mp3s are very helpful.

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~healthed/relax/downloads.html

Also, if you have social anxiety like me, here is a great forum. Meet friends who get your struggles and discuss solutions. It's pretty cool.

http://www.anxietysocialnet.com/

And for the heck of it, my favorite yoga instructor on meditation.

Namaste