The Non-Adventures of Major Depressive Disorder!

So, I haven't been on many adventures lately. Graduation has booted me out of the world of education and left me hanging. I have major depressive disorder, you know, along with social anxiety. I want to do nothing else most days than to snuggle up in the endless embrace of fluffy blankets around clouds of pillows-- to stay in my nice warm bed and dream; to dream of things better, or things worse, anything at all, so long as it's not life. You know, Hamlet famously asked what dreams may come in the next life...but some of us are already living in our dreams.

 But no, that's not the only thing that ails me. Along with all that, I haveTMJ (my jaw locks), a fear of needles, and chronic laziness. Every little thing holds you back that much more. I couldn't even eat another bite of banana nut bread the other day because the nuts were causing my jaw to lock. Life is hard, right? But I suppose mine isn't the worst lot in life.

After all...

You haven't lived until you've gone out and bought yourself a crazy 80s outfit (do it).

Or celebrated your birthday with an abnormally diverse group of people who you hardly even know...

Or until you take a photo with your nephew on the same bench you took it last Halloween

Because even if you don't plan any adventures-- even if you are disposed, like a Hobbit, to stay where you are most comfortable-- life has a way of giving you adventures you hadn't planned. One of those people at my birthday party that I hardly knew bought me a pumpkin danish! Just because I had mentioned I liked pumpkin. Yum. I wasn't expecting that.

My therapist, Dr. Headman, says that life is about being happy-ish; about looking for small flecks of gold in the everyday that add up to a great amount of worth. Even though looking ahead seems empty at times, I know life will be filled with many more adventures I hadn't expected.

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit


"Good morning!" he said at last. "We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water." By this he meant that the conversation was at an end.
"What a lot of things you do use Good morning for!" said Gandalf."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit