Everyone, admit it or not, could do with a therapist to survive the job hunt. Society is essentially sizing you up to determine how valuable you are. My therapist, Dr. Headman, suggested sharpening my job hunting skills. So I started reading a self-help book. It said that joining Toastmasters would be helpful for obtaining a job. I didn't actually know what Toastmasters was though. It is a kind of club for practicing public speaking.
I was like, okay whatever, it looks like some kind of perpetual speech class? So I looked on the Internet to find a Toastmasters club. Then I woke up this morning and I was kind of like, "oh yeah, the Toastmasters thingy." I went to the room and sat in a chair.
I was the first one in. A nicely dressed woman appeared in the doorway. "Is she in charge?" I wondered. She furrowed her eyebrows, and squinted at me. She started toward me slowly, concentrating intensely with this weird squint. I started feeling uncomfortable. "Am I in the wrong room?" I wondered to myself. She looked disconcerted.
"Who are you?" she asked bamboozled.
"I'm here for Toastmasters?" I replied.
"I haven't seen you before," she shook my left hand.
"Oh no! Why didn't she shake my right hand?" I thought,"I scratched my eye with my right hand. That must be it. She doesn't want to shake a crusty eye itching hand. Why!? What was I thinking!?"
Around six more people made their way in. They all shook my hand and introduced themselves. "I shouldn't have scratched my eye!" I thought. The meeting commenced. Someone said something about the meeting commencing. The people around the table clapped vigorously. Someone said something else. The people around the table clapped. Then the next person was introduced. This elicited vigorous clapping. "These people are very impressed with the act of speaking," I thought as I clapped along. Clapping was invigorating.
They kept calling this other girl and me their "honored guests."A lady with really great public speaking skills gave a speech on public speaking. Everyone clapped. Then they did this thing where they read questions. They went around the room and each person had to answer one question in one to two minutes. "Do our honored guests wish to participate?" the speaker asked. I looked sidelong at the girl next to me.
"Ok," she said.
I looked back at the speaker.
"Ok," I said.
The lady who had shook my left hand began. She got a most difficult question and she had trouble getting words out of her mouth. She seemed incredibly nervous and repeated things. Watching her stumble made me nervous, but it also made me start thinking of how to avoid doing the same.
Then the girl-- the honored guest, I mean-- next to me spoke. I thought she did well. I went after a really talented guy who had been a member for years. My question was, "If you could know one thing about the people around you in your life, what would it be."
"Thank you Toastmaster" I said...I think that was what everyone else had said? I continued. "If I could know one thing about the people around me in my life I think it would be--" I laughed, "this is a hard question," I said. Other people laughed in recognition of our common plight." I thought of a dumb answer. I had to just go with it. I couldn't stall forever. I said something like, "If I could know one thing about the people around me it would be what they love. If you know what someone loves then you know what drives them. If you know what drives them then you can better understand them. That way you can be a better friend to everyone you know." I looked at the time person...Oh great. One minute hadn't even passed. That's all I had. "In addition," I said. My mind raced to find another point. " In addition, if you know what people love, you will know whether you can trust them or not. You will understand if their desires are selfish or altruistic." By the time I got done explaining that aspect of my answer, one minute had rolled around. I wrapped up my speech and said, "Thank you." There was clapping.
"We will now vote on who did the best," the speaker said. Everyone clapped. We all wrote on a piece of paper and voted.
"The winner..." the speaker said, "or should I say the winners, it's a tie, are--" He named the talented speaker. That didn't surprise me. He got up and took his blue ribbon "And," he continued, "Our newest member!" he called my name.
"Huh?" I thought, then I got up and received my blue ribbon.
Until next time,
Namaste
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