This Easter, for me, was a weed. I felt like I was a weed. What am I doing here, thrown into the mosaic of humanity?
I did my exit counseling online the other day. That is where they try to make you feel stressed about your indentured servitude to the education system, which you will work forever to pay off. I was shown a bar graph that illustrated the impossibility of covering my finances while working at an entry level job.
On top of this, I have recently discovered the maniacal nature of insurance. How am I going to pay for all this therapy and medicine that I just started after I get off of my school's insurance? That is, if I can even get that insurance company to cut the crud and give me money in the first place.
I don't know what kind of misanthropic people run insurance companies, but I think they look something like this.
On top of it all, the stress of school was getting to me. My social anxiety was making me feel like a schmuck, and my depression was rising.
But with the help of my nephew,Cameron, I cracked open Eggydoo.
Eggydoo was probably dying of thirst. Cameron gave her a drink of water.
I may have started planting Eggydoo very late for an impatien, so we'll see how it goes. This is what an impatien looks like when it is finished growing.
I don't know if Eggydoo will grow. I don't know if I'll succeed in school this semester. I have already catastrophized my falling behind and imagined being held back from graduating. But, in my life, I am like this egg full of dirt. I don't know if I'm growing it right, but I'll just keep giving it water.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered."
Namaste
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